By: Ransi Samarasinghe

“Try not to become man of success, but rather try to become a man of value” –Albert Einstein-

If you want to become a man of value, you must breakup with your ego, ignorance, selfishness and probably should change your bad behavior and false attitude.

Here are some lessons I’ve learned over the years from the society. You should avoid these qualities to achieve your success. Hopefully they’ll prove as useful to you as they have been useful to me.

1. You want others to fail

Actually this quality of you forcefully shows your ignorance, stupidity. You can never become a successful man through others’ failures. It’s your choice to become who you are today; remember you are what you do.  No matter how well liked that person is, how hard he works, how qualified he might be for his job- you just aren’t pulling for him. You might be jealous of him, or you might simply get enjoyment out of messing with him. But what do you deserve throughout his failures? Remember you can analyze his success, complain about it, cry and scream at the unfairness of it, but nothing can change your position. Your stupidity guides him to be more successful than before. It’s only waste of your valuable time. Do your job the best you can, instead of trying to bring others down.

2. You hold a grudge

Why do we hold grudges when they are in fact quite painful to maintain? Why do we keep wounds open and active? Holding grudge towards someone who be nice to you is just like letting someone live letting free in your head. Actually it’s similar as one sided expectation, because one sided expectation can mentally destroy you same as holding grudge towards a success person; remember your thoughts couldn’t able to change his status. When you hold grudge it doesn’t block that person’s path of success, but it creates a wall in between you and your success. The path of freedom from a grudge is not so much through forgiveness of “other”, but rather through loving your own self. If you want to become success you should forgive who ‘wronged” you.

3. You are afraid to change

Sometimes it feels like we are not allowed to change, for fear of what others will think or say or do. If you are afraid to change how could you able to see the path of success? All we need in our life is to change, it’s necessary because we meet different people, face different adventures, especially in need of struggle to be better every day. Your fear to change will guide you to the path of suffering. When you stay in the same way without embrace change, your motivation gradually loses. You should think wide because narrow minded people never invented magical stuff. First of all change yourself to change the world!

4. You criticize without any valid reason

Criticism is another way to show your ignorance, in the same time it’s an easy way to let yourself down. Do you know that you criticize someone just to make yourself better? Not only that, you hesitate to strive for success. People who criticize others without any valid reason simply represent their jealousy, inferiority feelings, and especially their failure to achieve the success. Criticism shows your unskillful attempt to connect with successful people, your inability to reach the higher level and your lack of confidence. Successful people give compliments, appreciate, and respect instead of mistreating others, that’s how they became a man of value, a truly blessed person.

5. You talk about people

There are far better things to talk about than other people, the sensational, intimate details of another. Unfortunately when you talk about people, it feels better for a while but it’s one of your weaknesses which make you immature, sign of your undeveloped mentality. Most of people talk about others when they feel jealous, they try to put the one he is talking about down so that they feel good about them self. You can talk about new ideas, creative things and much more things to make yourself better for life time. Your success is your choice, either you can let others down or make yourself proud. If you waste your time to talk about others, you can never be successful.

6. You think you know it all

“the more you know, the more you release how much you don’t know- the less you know, the more you think you know” – David T. Freeman

This is all what it means, successful people continuously learn new things to be better than yesterday. If you think you know it all and do what you want without thinking twice, the result will shock you for sure. The very first thing you must know is, in this world no one who knows everything, don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t know something, and learn from the best whenever you can, then definitely you will be successful. Remember you have to learn something new each and every day instead of being high minded and sleeping like you are an expert in everything. In dreams everybody can reach success, but real men and women are working for it, not dreaming.

7. You blame others for your failures

May be you are one of these kinds of a person; think about it, it’s time to change this bad quality of yours. You cannot be success while blaming others for your failures. You have to be genuine to be a man of value. You should accept the fact that you are the reason behind your failure.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” –Robert Anthony-

Nobody is perfect, so that you cannot point finger and placing blame on others for your mistakes because you are the author of your misfortune. You have to learn from your own mistakes; actually your last mistake is your best teacher, the best guidance to be successful. Don’t hesitate to accept your mistakes and failures but hesitate to put blame on others for it.

I thought of end this article with this greatest quote by Mahatma Gandhi, “be the change you want to see in the world”. It’s time to make a difference in you, not in others. It will take you to the correct path of success. According to ‘Lord Buddha’, “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path”, “With our thoughts we make the world”.

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